Finally, the recognition we deserve!

Here in #jesus_sucks_dick, we're always trying to get on the evening news because it's the only way we can .. ok, I dunno wtf this bitch is talking about. Under the 'disturbing' section of Lisa Hartz's "Does the internet change religion?" page, it says this about us:

Sites under this category can be considered the most dangerous, because the content is illogical and without any supplementary evidence. For example, the url alone for the site www.jesus-sucks-dick.com implies that this site's content is in no way ingenious or profound. Among the site's features are a survey asking "How much would you pay to see Jesus f****ed by gay blacks?" and "Top 10 uses for the Bible: a coaster, lining for a birdcage, etc." At best, this website can be seen as the work of 4th grade dropouts looking to make the evening news.

I find it interesting that the same criteria that she uses to find us 'disturbing' applies to the religion she's apparently defending. Belief in god/jesus/jehovah/etc is illogical and without any supplementary evidence.

She even gives us a plug (thanks). But what I'm wondering is why she bothered censoring the word 'fucked,' but not the word 'dick.' And 'gay blacks' doesn't sound like us. We'd say something more along the lines of 'fagnigger.' Is that a word?

Also, that 'Top 10' list was actually a poll, and our viewing public (you) submitted most of those answers. So, you should mail her and tell her you want the recognition.

If only we actually had changed religion. But it seems to keep right on being fucking crazy.

Estonia sucks.

Estonia sucks almost as much cock as Jesus.

Gods destroy church, proles unfazed

Lady Lake, Florida - Quoteth the AP

The Lady Lake Church of God was demolished, its pews, altar and Bibles left in a jumbled mess. The 31-year-old, steel-reinforced structure was built to withstand 150-mph winds, the Rev. Larry Lynn said.

By daybreak, parishioners gathered amid the ruins, hugging each other and consoling Lynn. They planned to clear the debris and hold Sunday services on the empty lot.

"That's just the building. The people are the church. We'll be back bigger and stronger," Lynn said.

---

Thor was avaliable for comment, but most of which was summarized into churches being excellent lightning rods and tornado fodder. The parishioners are widely expected to return to their homes later in the day to partake in the worship of the pigskin, whose temple was not destroied in the storms.

Merry fuckin' Candlemas!

Yes on this day Jesus sucked his first cock in the house of god. Orrr something. In our time christians celebrate this act by rousting Jesus (in groundhog form) from his burrow in Knob Gobbler, Pennsylvania, sticking a finger up his ass and FORCING that cocksucker to predict the weather. What a sick bunch of bastards.

Nice tribal looking devil

Nice tribal looking devil

"Angel Kisses" for the algebra impaired in Southwest Missouri

A Newton County judge ordered George Otis Johnston, 63, to stand trial after testimony from a 20-year-old woman who alleges that Johnston, the pastor of Grandview Valley Baptist Church North of rural Granby, molested her in his trailer home when he was supposed to be tutoring her in algebra.

"He told me I needed to become one of his angels," the woman told the court during a preliminary hearing Monday.

The woman said Johnston would put his hands inside her clothes to touch her genitals and breasts, and kiss her with his tongue, which he called "angel kisses."

"He was 'cleansing' her," Dobbs said. "He would tell her that the trouble she was having was due to impure thoughts and that he would 'cleanse' her of those thoughts by having sexual contact with her."

Read more here

The Power of Christ Compels You, Cocksucker!

Now there's a line I haven't heard......lately. Usually I'm compelling Jesus to suck my cock by waving $5 bills around.


We'd rather writhe in gay pleasure than repress ourselves in "God's" name. Unless Jesus cures by giving head. Then maybe we'll consider it. Oh, and if he gives us unlimited wine.

Jesus does indeed cure by giving head. Or at least, he gives head. I haven't seen him actually cure anything.

Read the full story here.

Pensacola Evangelist Convicted of Tax Fraud to Be Sentenced

PENSACOLA, FL (AP) -- Sentencing is scheduled today for a Pensacola evangelist and his wife who argued they didn't owe taxes because everything they own belongs to God. A jury convicted Kent Hovind in November on 58 federal counts of tax fraud.

The founder of Creation Science Evangelism is accused of failing to pay $845,000 in employee taxes at the dinosaur theme park, an amusement park that exposed visitors to Hovind and his followers' view that human and dinosaurs coexisted and that evolution did not occur.

His wife, Jo Hovind, was convicted on 44 of the counts involving evading bank-reporting requirements. Kent Hovind faces a maximum of 288 years in prison. Jo Hovind could be sentenced to up to 225 years in prison.

I love this story. "I don't owe taxes because everything we own belongs to god. Even our slaves, I mean employees!"

...and "Creation Science Evangelism Dinosaur Theme Park"? Do they have Adam & Even riding around on T-Rex's?

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/florida/news-article.aspx?storyid=738...

TOM CRUISE IS THE NEW JESUS!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007030603,00.html

If Cruise is the new Jesus, that means it's time to nail him to a stick, poke him with a spear, and get that fucker pimped out to suck some COCK!

LOLJesus.com

LOLjesus.com Check this site out.. plenty of funny jesus pics..

JesusWasAHomo.org This one is probably worth checking out too..

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